I don’t really engage with the online mechanics in Elden Ring… Maybe I should? I’ve put hundreds of hours into the game otherwise. I rate and leave messages but I’ve never summoned help for co-op or invaded people except for Varre’s quest where I always just get obliterated by people who are way better prepared than me.
I’ve had exactly this happen to me. It was my own fault but it took a bit of work figure out.